I told ya'll this was going to be a two part post. Figured I might as well get this one written while it was on my mind.
At the end of the last post I mentioned that I had a theory on where that Tank piece of the puzzle went... The answer is that our culture has been systematically destroying that piece. While you can't really take a tank head on, if you come from behind, or from the inside. You can insidiously eliminate the Tank as a threat. Our culture has done just that.We've destroyed
Men.
I have quite opinions on how men in this culture have been attacked, I really have no way to organize them. So I'll just put a few that directly relate to being Tanks on here. *NOTE* I haven't written anything like this from a woman's perspective,
because I'm a dude. If you're a woman, and you want to write about society's terrible treatment of women, feel free... Just don't expect that here. =)
TV shows constantly portray the men as inadequate in someway, whether it's their inability to properly communicate anything to anyone in their family, or just the way they can't get the kids to school like mom can. Men in media are shown as inept and bumbling. That may even be partially the truth anymore. Men have been relegated to a background role in families, they work long hours to make ends meet, so their family can keep up with the Jones... And suddenly we have an absent father, no wonder he can't communicate with his family, he doesn't even know them. No wonder he can't get the kids to school on time, he's never taken them there before. We've identified men by their job for so long, that when a man loses his job,
HE LOSES HIS IDENTITY. So a man wanders through his daily grind, managing director for superfluous operations at his company, it doesn't fulfill him... But he's been taught that's why he exists, to pay the bills and keep his family happy. A (mostly) selfless and yet completely empty man.
Is it any wonder men turn to porn and video games to fill the void? The poison is all too easy... He may be a managing director at work, but that doesn't compare to being EPIC HERO the Kingslayer in World of Warcraft. His work identity just can't compare to this virtual identity he's crafted. It only gets worse if he loses his job. He's lost his life, and all that's left is that incredibly enticing world, where he actually matters.
Porn operates in a similar way, couples may have screwed like rabbits early in the relationship, yet so many couples lose that fire, that passion. The relationship may work on a functional level, but if the wife is no longer interested in sex, the man will begin to look elsewhere, and all it takes is that one taste. The appearance of a woman enjoying sex is all it takes for the man to begin to lose interest in his own wife. Porn is so insidious in that it requires zero effort on the man's part, sex between two loving partners is a two way street, it requires effort from both parties. With porn the man doesn't have to work, it's always there, waiting for him. Then it simply becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, the wife may not have been interested in sex, but now the man is getting sated elsewhere, and what little passion was left, disappears.
There's dozens more examples I could give, but I hate bringing up problems without bringing up solutions.
#1 solution for everyone. PRAY YOUR BUTTS OFF! No amount of the rest of my suggestions below compares to this solution, praying doesn't mean you can slack off elsewhere, but do this first, and
always. Pray about this issue, it's here, it's real, and it's killing the family, and the Church.
Men- FIND YOUR IDENTITY OUTSIDE OF WORK OR YOUR VIDEO GAMES! That identity should probably be something like "husband" or "father" or perhaps, if you're not married "child of God". If you aren't getting enough from your wife, tell her you want more, despite the Church painting sex in such a negative light... Scripture says that sex is part of the reason to get married. Just remember it's a two way street, it's supposed to be fun for both the man and the woman =p
Women- You can make a man finding his identity much easier. HELP HIM find that role. Help him find that husband inside him. Make sure he knows he's a husband first, and a managing director dead last. Secondly, if your sex life is less than it used to be, your man probably isn't getting enough. Understand that in a way, you're competing with all of those half naked women that the media slathers everywhere. There's no need to suddenly go all porn star in the bedroom, but being ready and willing is more than enough to help your husband out.
I'm not offering excuses for either gender here, or putting either one at fault. Your behavior is unilateral. You can (and should) be a husband to a wife that's not helping you find that identity, and you can keep your mind clean even if she's not sexing you up. You can (and should) be a wife to a husband even if he's not really accepting that identity or responsibility, and you can try and help him become a husband and father. You can even be ready and willing, even if he's not.
A man's job has always been to fight for his family... If you take the man out of the picture, the punishment the world dishes out starts hitting the delicate family behind him. The family splinters, and the fragments spread. Soon after it starts effecting communities, cities, states, and then the nation.
We've lost our warriors, our Tanks.
If you want them back, you're going to have to fight for them, so they can protect you again.